i have come to a stage where i feel like a black hole. i'm empty. days just goes by and i'm becoming less productive, less significant, i'm invisible. there is no passion. nothing that drives me to my most limit. i feel rather suffocated. whatever i do are becoming much much less significant. it gives nothing back! no meaning! no soul! nothing! just plain nothingness!
i want to cried out loud out of pure joy again, not because of the misery that i felt with every nerve that i have. i want to laugh again, the honest laugh, the laugh that i can feel free to burst in that shake all my tendons and bones. i'm sick of being uptight. i'm sick of holding it back!
i'm too tired. i need to get out! to feel that i'm alive again. not like some kind of living figure without a soul. when was all this happened to me? when? why? i don't feel like myself anymore. i'm someone else. someone who is bitter inside.
owh..i'm good in acting. yes! i know, i'm good. i'm all in the good mood when i'm around people. but this is me...i'm fighting against myself. every single day i'm fighting it - the bitter me. i wish i could figure out what i've been missing. i wish i could run! and hide! to somewhere i can figure out what is wrong with me. i want to get closer to Him. i miss Him. i miss Him....yes, i miss Him.